I’m writing this to you from the back of a taxi. Which is not how I normally like to do things.
I henpeck at my phone b/c I am an old person, the autocorrect annoys me relentlessly, and, most importantly, I typically have really good boundaries around my work time and my not work time, and transport time is not work time.
That’s all kind of gone out the window this week.
And that ok. I made the decision consciously. I kind of knew it was coming. October and November are always a bit mad for me, since I don’t work in December.
What it’s got me thinking about though, is the concept of enough.
Cut to a month ago.
I was sitting at my desk kind of feeling like shit b/c I didn’t think I was going to meet a couple of my goals for the year. I thought I wasn’t going to make my income goal. I still haven’t gotten my own book out. (Though I’ve gotten 5 out for other people this year.) Didn’t do this. Haven’t done that. Blah blah blah, I’m a failure.
And then something pinged in my head.
This standard of “enough” is one I set for myself. I made it up. Hell, I made my whole job up 10 years ago.
I just decided that they was the standard, and judged myself by it. But it’s made up. So, by the same logic, I could just as easily say that I’m wildly succeeding. Still arbitrary.
Cut back to now.
(Still in the back of the taxi. I’m going across the city, so it’s a long ride.)
Things shifted, and I made my income goal for the year. Broke 6 figures for the very first time (!!!) Book’s still not out, but I do have the edits outlined. I’ve signed some truly spectacular projects for the end of this year and Q1 2020.
It is, by any reasonable standards “enough”. Still doesn’t really feel like it.
So, as we wrap up the year, and I move into this next iteration of my business and look for new thresholds, I’m thinking about what enough would feel like. Especially in light of my mission of moving the global conversation forward. It’s a lifetime goal, which means there’s no easy definition of when it’s “done” or what’s “enough” in service of it.
And I wonder if there’s something in there for you and your conversation too. Because when you love something so much, when you’re so on-mission, sometimes nothing feels like enough. And yet, I know there’s something there, something about teasing out your relationship to your vocation — because it is a relationship, and you shape it as much as it shapes you.
I definitely don’t have the answer. But I’m excited to keep exploring it with you.