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[Template] How to Break Up with Someone in a Text Without Being a Jerk
E turns to me. “What do I even say to this guy? Is there a nice way to say “You’re great but I never want to see you again?” I smile back. “Hand me the phone. I’ve got a template.”
On the Aesthetic of Authenticity
Once upon a time, there was a business. It was run by a woman who only started freelancing because she was completely unemployable. She spent a full year alternating between panic attacks and depression, despite the fact that she was apparently living the digital...
The Greatest Marketing Lesson You’ll Ever Learn from an Asshole in a Bar
I was in a bar in college when some guy walked up to me and, with an absolutely straight face, introduced himself like so: "Hello. My name is Mohammed. I was suckled at the tits of a princess and I keep tigers as pets.” He then went on to tell me that I would look...
Why Your Sales Emails Disappear Into a Black Hole of Nothingness (And How to Fix It.)
There's nothing quite as dispiriting as taking the time to set up an email campaign, getting the little high five from the Mailchimp monkey, then getting ... absolutely nothing in return. And yet, it's pretty damn common. Some people will tell you that it's because...
You Don’t Have a Niche. You Have a Cop Out.
If you ever want to find out how fast you can make the smallbiz community clutch their pearls, try announcing that your business doesn't have a niche. Because everybody knows you have to have a niche, right? It's one of the first things they teach you in all the...
Know, Like, Trust, Bullshit. Why You Think You Hate Sales Copy (And What’s Really Going On).
Fill in the blank: know, like, trust, ______. Buy. It’s buy. But of course you know this, because that process is plastered all over the Internet. So because you love your business and want the best for it, you follow this “common knowledge” process. You come up with...
Why I Quit the Cult of Hustle
It plays out this way in my head every time. The year is 2037. I'm on Jeopardy, which is, incredibly still going, and even more incredibly, still hosted by an apparently immortal Alex Trebek. The category is "Histeria", which Alex helpfully points out is a charming...